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January is a hard month in Minnesota, especially in rural
areas. Freak blizzards can roll in with little warning, trapping people at work
or on the roads. One such storm hit two days after New Year's, last year. I was
at home, scouring the classifieds for a suitable Help Wanted ad while my wife
was working an afternoon shift at the local coffee shop. It started snowing at
about two o'clock. At three, she called to tell me she'd be staying at her
cousin's house until the weather cleared.
I decided to make the most of my time alone; I opened a
bottle of scotch and watched a World War II film. After spending most of the
late afternoon and evening on the couch, I was ready to call it a night. I had
turned the television off and was walking to the bedroom when I saw movement
outside my front door. A man was walking up my steps.
We both reached the door at the same time. I opened the
door and he stepped in, shaking a layer of snow off his body.
"You scared the crap out of me," I told him.
"I'm sorry," he grinned. "My car went off the road about a
half mile north of here and I saw your yard light on. Can I use your phone?"
"Well, I suppose, but no one's going to come get you. Not
in this weather. Why don't you just come in, have a drink?"
He accepted and we went into the living room. We made
small talk for a few minutes; I asked him who he was, where he was from, what on
earth he was going out in these conditions. He was quite genial, especially once
the alcohol kicked in. Midway through his second glass, he cocked his head. He
looked around as if something was familiar about the room but he couldn't quite
figure out what. After a moment his eyes lit up. "Would you like to hear a
story?"

About fifteen years ago, he began; a huge blizzard
completely immobilized the entire Midwest. Zero visibility, a foot of snow on
the ground, more on the way; the kind of storm the region is known for. No one
could get anywhere, not trucks, not trains, not plows. Even a snowmobile was
hard-pressed in those conditions.
In the thick of the storm, a man lived alone in a small
farmhouse. He was in his early thirties, but the stoop of his shoulders and the
weary look in his eyes told of a life of hardship and grief. An almost empty
bottle of bourbon sat on the coffee table in front of him. Four years ago that
night, his wife had been killed in a hit and run accident; five years ago that
month, they had had a stillborn son. Both were buried next to the grove by the
house.
Since he could still walk, the man decided he hadn't had
quite enough to drink. He stood up, sat down suddenly, stood up again. He walked
slowly to the front door (He liked his liquor ice cold and since there was
unlimited ice outside, why use the freezer space?). He opened the door fully expecting to
find nothing on his step other than two more bottles.
There was a body.
He swore, jumped back, stumbled over a pile of hunting
gear and fell. He struggled to his knees and half crawled to the door. He looked
to his right, saw a trail in the heavy snow where the person had struggled to
his door. He looked at the body – a man, bearded. He saw the breath coming from
between the man's lips. A clear thought came to his alcohol-fogged mind: Good
God, he's alive!
He grabbed the man by the hood of his bulky coat, dragged
him inside, and propped him against a chair next to the wood-burning stove that
heated the house. He did his best to get the man out of his frozen clothes, but
in the end simply threw a blanket on him and went to draw a lukewarm bath. When
he returned to the kitchen, his guest had begun to stir. The host helped him
into the bathtub and served him a cup of strong, black coffee. Warmed both
inside and out, the guest showed some real signs of life: he farted and
requested that his coffee be spiked with "some of that whiskey outside."
Once he had drunk, dried and dressed, the guest joined his
host in the sitting room. He explained that he was a friend of a neighbor and he
had been trapping in a slough about a mile southeast of the house. The storm had
blown in sooner than he had expected and he became disoriented. Snow-blind and
freezing, he had wandered for about six hours before coming across the fence
line that led him to the house.
He thanked his host profusely and offered a hundred dollar
bill for taking him in for the night. The host declined with a laugh – anyone
would have done it, no need to offer money for a common courtesy. The guest
insisted, however, on giving something.
"I'll tell you what," he said, "If I can tell you a story,
will you call it even? I think you'll find it interesting." The host agreed.
"Many years ago I was out trapping near my home. It was
maybe the first week of December. It had been a cold fall and the sloughs were
mostly frozen over. I had gone out that afternoon just planning to check a few
of my traps. I was getting to the end of my line when I fell through the ice.
"I was chest-deep in the water and there was no way to get
out other than breaking the ice and wading the hundred yards or so to dry land.
I did that, but by the time I got out I could feel myself getting drowsy – I was
hypothermic. I fought the temptation to lie down and sleep – if I did that I'd
freeze to death.
"I staggered up the steep bank to a gravel road. I turned
to look back at the path I had broken. As I looked, I saw, or thought I saw, a
young boy running through the cattails. He looked to be about eight or nine
years old, blonde-haired, wearing tan shorts and a striped green t-shirt. He ran
across the surface of the slough, making no marks on the thin layer of snow that
covered the ice, moving none of the foliage. He looked terrified, like he was
being chased. He reached the place I had fallen through the ice and stopped,
standing on the open water. At that moment, he pitched violently forward, as if
some invisible hand had shoved him. The surface of the water remained still as
the apparition faded.
"I stumbled back to my pickup and drove home as fast as I
could. It was the most unnerving thing I'd ever seen. Even after I'd warmed up
and calmed down, I could still see the little boy in my mind. I turned on the TV
and saw him. I cooked my supper and saw him. I closed my eyes to sleep and I saw
him.
"The next morning I put on my chest waders and went back
out to the slough. I knew that what I had seen was a hallucination, a product of
a mind that had been affected by the icy water. But yet, I had to know. I waded
to the place I had fallen in. I poked my foot around, trying to feel if there
was anything at the bottom. After a moment, I realized the ridiculousness of it.
There wouldn't be anything down there. Shaking my head, I turned toward shore.
"Something caught on my foot.
"I steadied myself on a clump of vegetation and lifted my
foot, as best I could, to the surface. Through the murky water, still several
inches down, I saw a tattered, green striped shirt. The torso of a tiny skeleton
was inside.
"I screamed and shook it off. It sank. I ran to shore,
tripping several times, the icy water again numbing my limbs and my senses. I
shook violently – whether from the cold or from my discovery, I do not know. Ice
formed in my hair and my clothes. My blood seemed to alternately freeze and
boil. When I reached the shore I sprinted, lungs burning, to my truck.
"An hour later, the area was canvassed by sheriff's
deputies, state investigators, and other various types of law enforcement. Over
the next few days they determined that the remains belonged to a boy who had
gone missing several years before. I was questioned both as a witness and a
suspect, but ultimately cleared of any wrongdoing. The boy's parents called to
thank me for bringing a small amount of closure to this horrific time in their
lives. I told them to thank God, Luck, or Fate, whatever they happened to
believe in. I had no closure.
"The night after I discovered the boy's body, I had a
dream. I was standing back at the edge of the water when I heard a small voice
call to me. I turned to see where it was coming from and I saw something dull
and white moving through foul water. As I focused, I realized it was coming
toward me: a miniscule, mud-stained skull.
"I forced myself to wake up, terrified. The next night, I
had the same dream. And the next night. The next, the next, the next, for
months. I dreaded sleep, turning to pills, alcohol, drugs. Nothing helped. It
still came, night after night, exactly the same: the slough, the voice, the
skull – that grinning death's head – approaching me from its grave. And every
night, I forced myself awake before it could get to me.
"Finally, one night, I steeled my nerves and allowed the
dream to take its course. The skull slowly surfaced as it came nearer, revealing
a skeleton covered in tattered clothes and rotting vegetation. Though it had no
eyes, the death's head looked at me.
"'You know what happened to me,' it said in the voice of a
little boy. 'If you find the man who did this to me, I'll leave you alone. I've
been waiting a long time.' It then turned and walked back into the water.
"From that night on, I was single-minded. I searched
newspapers, court documents, anything I could get my hands on that was connected
to the boy's disappearance. I lost my job, the few friends I had. Soon I was
living out of my pickup, wandering the region in search of a killer I knew
nothing about.
"Five years passed before my efforts were rewarded. I was
at a bar in eastern South Dakota when I overheard a conversation. A man was
confiding to another that he'd been carrying around some sort of guilt for a
long time. At first it was a vague, nonspecific sort of 'I did a bad thing'
talk, but I started to recognize things. He talked about the town the boy was
from. The timing was right. He even mentioned the boy's name.
"The man left a few hours later. I followed. As soon as I
knew no one was nearby, I approached him, told him to follow me. I led him to a
churchyard that bordered a river.
"'Look in the water,' I said. ‘Do you see him?’
"Before he could respond, I shoved him in. He shouted, but
slipped under the fast-flowing water nonetheless. He managed to grab a
low-hanging branch, but I met him there, held his head below water until he
stopped moving, then let the body float downstream.
"I slept dreamlessly for the first night in half a decade.
"The next day, though, I began to wonder. How did I know I
hadn't killed an innocent man? But no, the dreams had stopped, hadn't they? It
must have been him.
"I doubted for months. A creeping shame made its way into
my heart, gnawed at my conscience. I decided, finally, that I was the only
guilty party in the entire affair, and that I should die for my crimes. I bought
sleeping pills and washed them down with a bottle of vodka. But I didn't die.
"I dreamed.
"I saw the man I had killed sitting by the edge of the
river holding a bottle. I sat down next to him. He turned to me and with water
running from his nose and mouth he said, 'You think you can cheat me? You had no
right to kill me. I did nothing to you. How dare you try to punish my sins? They
were many and horrible, to be sure, but I did not kill that boy. You murdered me
wrongly, friend. Your own sins must be paid for before you can die. I won't let
you die before then. The only way I'll allow you to die is if someone punishes
you for a sin you did not commit, just as you punished me.'
"I awoke vomiting liquor and undigested pills.
"Ever since then, I've been traveling. I've been telling
my story."
The guest grew silent. The host had not moved a single
muscle in several minutes, scarcely even blinking. The guest looked up suddenly.
"You were married, yes?"
"Yes, I was. She died."
"You know, I thought I recognized the face on that picture
behind you. I need you to know that I never intended to hurt anyone that didn't
deserve to be hurt."
"What are you talking about?"
"About four years ago, I was getting desperate. The boy,
the man; both were visiting me while I slept. I needed the dreams to stop!
"I drove my pickup into the oncoming lane and crashed
head-on into another vehicle. I remember time seeming to slow down, watching as
the windshield of my car fragmented, seeing the face of the other driver. I knew
I recognized that face. I'm sorry."
The host went pale. He roared in agony and rage and lunged
at the guest. The guest had half risen from his chair when the host struck. He
tackled him, straddled him, and began punching him about the face. The guest
managed to get up for a moment, only to be thrown again to the floor, this time
smashing a glass-topped coffee table on the way down. The host grabbed a piece
of the table's wooden frame and hit the guest with it again and again.
The host blacked out.
When he came to, he looked down at the shattered, bleeding
head of the guest. Blood had spattered all about the body, creating a sort of
halo on the splintered wood and broken glass. He looked at his own arm and
discovered that he had been gashed quite badly. His legs gave out and he fell to
his knees. He felt bile working its way up his throat. Stars danced before his
eyes and he forced himself to breathe deeply.
A gurgling sound came from the body. The host looked down
and saw the remains of lips moving. The guest's arm gripped his shoulder weakly
and pulled him down to the pulpy face. He was able to make out only four words:
"I lied. Thank you." The arm dropped limply and a final gurgling breath escaped
the guest's lips.
The host stood, shaking. He stumbled into the bathroom.
Ignoring the pain, he tightly bandaged his arm. He did his best to wash the
blood from his face and hands, but his clothes were soaked in it. In his
bedroom, he changed out of his soiled garments. He grabbed a well-worn knapsack
from under his bed and filled it with clothes, as much cash as he had, some
food, and other supplies.
He was about to run out the front door when he stopped. He
turned back to the wood-burning stove. Using a chunk of wood, he dug out the
remaining embers and spread them on the rug. Within a few seconds it was on
fire.
The host prayed that the weakening storm would cover his
tracks as he made his way to the Greyhound station in the nearby town. He needed
nothing to light his path, as the burning house illuminated the falling snow and
created a hellish glow that could be seen for several miles.
Three days passed before anyone could get to the charred
ruins. Only a small handful of bone fragments were found among the wreckage. The
host was declared dead, the victim of a tragic, accidental fire. He read about
it in a newspaper three hundred miles away.
That night, he had a dream.
The guest sat in the charred remnants of the host's home.
His face was mangled and bleeding; in his lap, the photo of the host and his
wife. The guest's lips began to move. "Now it's your turn. You murdered me,
someone must murder you. Until then, well," he let out a low laugh. "I'll be
right here."

My guest took a deep breath and reached for the whiskey.
He smiled at me and poured himself another glass. I noticed a long scar running
down his left forearm.
"So," he asked, "is that your girlfriend in that picture?"
"Wife, actually."
"Ah, a married man! Well, she's a very pretty girl." He
paused for a moment. "Say, does she happen to work in town?"
"At a coffee shop, yes."
"I thought she looked familiar. I met her earlier." He
looked up from his drink and into my eyes. After a moment he added, "Very pretty
girl." Still looking at me, he drained his glass and settled back onto the
couch. He let out a satisfied sigh and closed his eyes.
After a several minutes, I went
quietly into the other room and called my wife's cell phone. It went straight to
her voicemail. I opened the door to my closet, reached to the top shelf, and
pulled down an old cigar box. From it I removed my snub nosed revolver. Last
chance, I thought. I called my wife one more time. It rang, rang, rang.
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